My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I understand Curling. That high.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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