Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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