i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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