I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
