true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
