Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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