he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
