I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sorry about my life...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
