doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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