He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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