Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You ruined the universe
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
