You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
