i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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