We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
