Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
