You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
