The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
