eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize