He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
