i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
