yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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