So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
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ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
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i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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