youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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