So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
