After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
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the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
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He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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