i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize