There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
