To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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