I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There are leaves in my underwear?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
