Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
