i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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