HIV tests are more positive than that guy
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
