ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
