So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
