I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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