I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
