ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
