I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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