let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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