why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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