Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
