pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Come back. Shots need mouths.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
