new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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