he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
