If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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