finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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