i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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