Everything about him screamed your future.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize