is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
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I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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