You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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