Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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