i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
